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Protecting the Children

By Porter Glendinning | April 1st, 2006 | Filed in April Fools

WaSP and PANIC announce new recommendation for Child-safe Hypertext Markup Language.

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The Web Standards Project, in conjunction with the Parents Against Needless Injuries in Computing, is proud to announce today the Child-safe Hypertext Markup Language specification. CSHTML replaces the dangerously sharp angle brackets used in HTML with rounder, more friendly parentheses.

“This new recommendation is a critical step in stemming the tide of bracket-related injuries among young people today,” according to PANIC spokesman, Yul Putcher-Iout. “CSHTML will revolutionize the teaching curricula of computer classes in elementary schools. We believe this will make it possible to safely extend these classes to children as young as nine years old.”

Also removed in CSHTML are the slashes in element closing tags. In their place asterisks, or stars, are used. “We feel,” says Putcher-Iout, “that the repetitive slashing in HTML is far too violent for our children to be exposed to. Now, instead, every time a child closes a tag properly he or she will get a self-esteem-boosting star.”

Your Replies

#1 On April 1st, 2006 1:46 pm Yannick replied:

Nice one guys. You almost had me there, until I reached the second paragraph and I saw the guys name. “Putcher-Iout” haha, “put your eye out” is what I assume you were referring to by the name.

#2 On April 1st, 2006 2:47 pm Hayo Bethlehem replied:

Wow. I thought the asterisks were ninja throwing stars! Fluffy throwing stars of cuteness perhaps?

#3 On April 1st, 2006 4:29 pm Kelson replied:

Funny, the group’s acronym made me think of Persons Against the Ninja Infestation of California. Clearly, with the ninja throwing stars being added to HTML — excuse me, CSHTML — this new PANIC is a ninja front attempting to subvert the original group!

#4 On April 1st, 2006 5:35 pm Keri Henare replied:

CSHTML should also refrain from encouraging from children to code inside the brackets as it could damage their creativity.

#5 On April 1st, 2006 6:20 pm Mishka’s Playground » Blog Archive » Protecting the Children replied:

[...] Read more [...]

#6 On April 1st, 2006 6:26 pm Pig Pen - Web Standards Compliant Web Design Blog » Blog Archive » CSHTML - WaSP’s April 1st Joke replied:

[...] CSHTML – WaSP’s April 1st Joke was a standard to eliminate sharp angled brackets in HTML for safety reasons but I believe the validator will choke even if the children don’t… ha ha. [...]

#7 On April 1st, 2006 6:32 pm nortypig replied:

Ha ha. I got poked in the eye by a curly brace in a 3d game engine written in C++ but do I cry – of course I do… :)

Sharp braces are the last defensive weapon we have against having just anyone code web pages (Sorry TBL)… honest. Danger is my middle name you know. The name’s Pig, Norty Pig (that’s kind of like James Bond when you read it).

[OK I've never bothered to look in a game engine's code lol]

#8 On April 2nd, 2006 1:34 am draco replied:

Nice, let’s hope by the next April’s Fool we’ll have the first recommendation of CSHTML 1.0! I can’t wait already. And soon, XCSHTML!

#9 On April 2nd, 2006 5:38 am » WaSP Safety Recommendation - Classical Webdesigns Articles replied:

[...] WaSP is most concerned about the safety of children and is proposing a new markup specification (CHTML) with rounded parentheses instead of dangerous angle brackets, among other recommendations. I’d like to see the recommendations go further, though, and involve the participation of the DOM Scripting Task Force and the Royal Horticultural Society (arboreal division) to make safety guidelines for climbing the document tree. [...]

#10 On April 2nd, 2006 3:27 pm Saleh EG replied:

Man I was about to fall for it. Nice one.

#11 On April 2nd, 2006 6:33 pm greta replied:

ya’ll rock and keep it in context…..i love the sense of humor coupled w/the serious biz of STANDARDS!!!!

#12 On April 4th, 2006 1:03 pm Britney replied:

That is so awsome that you are able to keep it funny but yet on topic. Iam glad to hear that the children are finalyy getting there own markup laungauage , I almost fell for it to !

#13 On April 4th, 2006 4:49 pm Stan Grabowski replied:

I am personally concerned about the Cascading part of CSS… I fear getting hit on the head by a cascading bit of style sheet. Is there any safety mechanism out there that can prevent serious injury or death related to improper storage of style sheets? I’m sure OSHA may have some guidelines for proper implementation of sharp brackets in HTML and proper bracing and tie downs to prevent untimely cascading of style sheets. I hope the WaSP’s will be looking into these dangerous problems more in the future. I’ll be wearing my hardhat until they come up with a solution.

#14 On April 7th, 2006 3:37 pm » Blog Archive » CHTML replied:

[...] Yup, the WaSP have thought of everything. Their latest invension is CHTML (Child-safe HyperText Markup Language). [...]

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